The Fash: "Rachel.. don't tell anyone....but I had an awake friend"
The Fash: A new Sunday satire for subscribers.
Scene: A busy south Dublin Cafe
Time: Mid-morning, early summer 2028
Rachel wasn’t quite sure how her friend had managed to do it. To negotiate the Great Fall so easily. So effortlessly even. She hadn’t seen Paloma in almost three years and was looking forward to rekindling the flame of their friendship but, for sure, there was a curiosity too. Like many, the two had become split at the outset of the great worldly reshuffle, and now she felt a nervous tingle in her empty stomach. Rachel needed her friend’s help but pride was holding her back, even now, from asking for it. She most certainly didn’t want to seem desperate.
Their AI ChatGPT’s had arranged the details of the meeting and as a result Rachel was sat at her favorite window table in Xi’s cafe on upper Rathmines road. Gazing out the long, tall and perfectly clear window at the mass of humanity passing by in a completely orderly fashion. She took a sip from her cup, a simple post-americano coffee, glanced down at her phone and noted the time. She allowed herself a smile as she reminisced that Paloma was always late.
Xi, the owner, noticing she was alone for over ten minutes stepped over to enquire if she’d like a refill eventhough she had barely drank a third of her coffee.
“ No, No….I’m tots fine Xi darling “ she replied with a thinnish smile.
Almost everyone was a “darling” in South Dublin but beneath the thin veneer of cordiality everyone despised each other almost as much as they hated themselves. Refills weren’t free and at 200 Yuan a coffee Rachel took the opportunity to do some quick calculations in her head to ensure she had enough currency to pay for her coffee and croissant in case her old friend declined to pick up the bill. Yet another grim reminder of how badly divergent their two lives had become in the years since the Great Falling. Xi observed her reaction and seemed to read her mind.
“ Oh come now, Rachel, I can’t have my most beautiful patron sitting here with a half empty cup, allow me “ he said with extravagant charity.
Quick as flash he placed down a new cup of fine-bone china on a saucer in front of her and filled it briskly from a steaming pot and almost as fast slid a thin slice of lemon meringue pie, her favorite, on the table also. She was about to object but Xi placed an index finger to his smiling lips and whispered “Ssshh”. As if himself and Rachel were engaged in a sort of clandestine, illicit and intimate game unbeknownst to some unknown big brother keeping a watchful eye over the cafe.
“ Oh Xi….You really do know me too well “ she giggled and gratefully accepted his kind gesture and her nervousness lightened a touch. At that moment Paloma stepped through the door in a blaze of gloriousness, laden down with expensive treasures, luxuries and a gust of apologies.
“ OMG it is so good to see you Rach! I’m soooo…soooo…..sorry for keeping you waiting….Aleksandr kept me up half the night and I didn’t wake until after 9:30…good god but he’s a handful…You look totally gorgeo by the way… “
She sat down in the seat opposite and dumped her array of gifts on the floor and the lost years magicked away. Xi filled another coffee and deposited it gently in front of Paloma. Rachel was too distracted to note that the additional caffeine transaction took place without a word exchanged between her friend and the owner. But the slip was noticed.
“ Oh how is Aleksandr… You must tell me all about him” her friend enthused forgetting her own troubles for a moment.
“ Well Rach , you know, these alpha male Russians - straight to the point and horny all hours of the day and night “ She laughed winking at her friend.