Every single time I see a photograph of the minister for the environment, Eamon Ryan, it triggers the same not so deep philosophical musing in my warped head.
“ I wonder how environmentally friendly his brown hair-dye is? “
Now, unless the 60 year old Green minister has found the secret to everlasting natural hair growth & tinting, and is keeping it all to himself, he must be regularly rinsing chemicals down his solar-powered shower tray. I’ve never understood Irish men’s new-age enthusiasm for hair-colouring products, but, to be fair, that might be jealousy on my end as a paid up member of the follically challenged for most of my adult life. The subject got me thinking though.
Lent and the Lenten period is almost upon us. A time for a some consistent daily sacrifice or commitment to a little spiritual self investment. Which is why I’m writing this piece a little ahead of schedule and indulging myself in some final impure thoughts on the subject matter of Eamon Ryan’s hair colouring. I may have to give this sort of thing up on Wednesday or double down on it. Uncertain, as yet, of which is best for the soul. Anyway, as I engage in a little Ryan fantasising, I must confess, a Ben Scallan movie scene has been tickling my funny-bone for most of the morning. Where the intrepid reporter sticks a microphone underneath Ryan’s nose at a government press conference and barks out a question that goes something along the lines of:
“ Minister would you consider giving up dying your hair for Lent ? “
Of course, it might also be helpful for the environment, obviously. Now, if you cast your minds back, a couple of years, to when the McDonald’s fast-food chain behemoth introduced the new non-plastic, jaw breaking straw, the actual purpose wasn’t to reduce the production of plastic. No, the purpose was to force people to think about the environment while they sat down to eat and slurp. The inferior new straw, was and is, a constant reminder of our western world’s, 365 day a year, Lenten sacrifice to all things green. A reminder too of our collective, virtue-signalling madness. A sort of weird societal environmental penance we all must partake in, if you will. But, a penance that does absolutely zero for improving the environment. Then again, I suppose, most Green party policies are more of a religious devotion and act of faith than grounded in the actual scientific heavens.
I imagine if Scallan lobbed in this kind of Lent question at a media scrum it might set off a wildfire of panic within the political class. I can just see Neale Redmond’s chubby little cheeks redden and puff out in vainglorious outrage at such a notion and demand for a 40 day commitment to a net zero male hair-dying country. This type of question, though, might have an effect. A spiritual spanner thrown into the vanity works. Much more so than questions on mass immigration, pandemic treaties, daft referenda, and hate speech legislation. It knifes through the political armoury to who they really are.
As a statement of McDonald’s like intent the political class ought consider letting their roots grow out for forty days and forty nights. It might not do much for the environment but it would help with taking a chain-saw to their collective vanity.
Revlon balm for the soul.
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Aye the whole lot of them would give ye the runs!!
Definitely double down Gerry